Headline to choice

Risk – Not at all what you think it is

We all take risks even those who think they are ultra-cautious or super safe and those who think they don’t need to think again. Do you drive? Have you walked anywhere or cycled anywhere lately? Even getting out of bed can pose a risk if you do it awkwardly!

Risky biking

I make the point just to show even when you think you are safe there is an element of risk in almost everything we do and a lot of people while thinking they drive safely or walk and cycle with care may then visit a theme park and sample the adrenalin boost of thrill rides. As was sadly proven last year at Alton Towers rides sometimes go wrong and after that disaster the number of Google searches for “rides that went wrong” shot through the roof. But it hasn’t deterred everyone from going to Alton Towers or any of the other theme parks or they would have closed down for lack of customers.

roller-coaster thrills

The thrill is a natural body response to danger triggering the adrenalin to get the body ready for fight or flight and as we survive to the end of the ride we have learned that we didn’t need to do either and our fear response was groundless. We cannot stop this auto-response from happening again but we can overcome our fear of it kicking in so that we take the ride again this is what we learn.

So why then do we not take a risk with our development? Why do people say, “I couldn’t do that” or “I can’t do this”? Fear prevents us from taking the chance to improve but we can overcome this.

dice roll risk

I ask people “What can happen?” and the answer is usually I don’t know but if I say “What can happen if this occurs?” the answer now has a direction from which to approach the question and is easier to imagine. Of course the responses range from a considered and maybe measured answer to a panicked scenario of doom and gloom, yet even then the responder has a position from which they can see a possibility of dealing with the consequences. Only if they cannot see any possible outcome are they unable to formulate the inner resources to face what comes and find a pathway to success.

Anyway risk

Taking a risk is the first step and imagining the possibilities and how to overcome them is the second step on the path and as we all know the first step is the hardest and every step after that it gets easier so the third step, solving the problem, is a piece of cake or at least by then you may have freed the inhibitions and paralysis of fear so thinking is easier and more focussed.

 

© Rick Grain 12 June 2016

Headline to choice

Alias The Terminator

Alias The Terminator

terminator

We all use aliases, well maybe not all as I know there are a few older chaps and chapesses who only have the one email address (usually xxxx @ btinternet or aol.com) but if you have multiple emails for different reasons you may have tried and succeeded at making yourself an unique name. Don’t you just hate it when you’ve been racking your brains for a variation of honeybunny which doesn’t automatically get the “this identity is taken would you like honeybunny1775884?”

The idea of using aliases, particularly with regard to your email name, was to help hide your real identity from those who want to use your real identity as their alias in order to perpetrate some kind of fraud or scam. This is less of a concern than it used to be.

Masked

If you are using an alter ego the scenario changes as this is very different to the individuality of an unique name. Alias The Terminator is heading towards hiding yourself rather than showing a streak of individuality and for someone to grow and become the go to expert or foremost authority hiding behind a façade will lead to problems. Far better to develop your uniqueness as what sets you apart from the pack, and to highlight this is yet another path you need to find on the journey to fulfilment.

Most often The Terminator is hiding what they believe as something deficient about their personality and are using a strong alter ego to boost their confidence. This can work for some but to the majority the alter ego won’t stack up when reality bites and you have to actually relate on a one to one basis either physically or as part of an online developing relationship. The relationships you have with either clients, friends, lovers or sometimes especially family cannot survive the strain that an alter ego forces you to create and maintain. It’s like lying; those who live a life based on lies to cover their inadequacies or mistakes create internal stress trying to remember what lies they told to whom and eventually it all falls apart as friendships break under the weight of distrust.

Break apart

As an alias The Terminator also acts as a front to hide from people as a threatening character and keeping in character is only easy for serious practitioners such as actors. If you are hiding behind the threat of retribution or vengeance you are going to be making more enemies than friends which isn’t the desired outcome of a growth program.

Stand out

Think about what you call yourself even in terms of email identities and choose a name that reflects or promotes your character or essence to help people to understand where you are coming from

© Rick Grain 6 June 2016

Time to choose

Can you find your way to ….?

If you drive a lot, maybe as part of your job, or just because you like to go places, you probably use a satellite navigation tool like TomTom or Garvin or Via Michelin or any number of others and you will know that if you rely on total navigation by computer generated voice you will get where you are going but you will need it to find your way back. (Free tip here: Look at a map and only program in the last few miles of your journey)

Satnav

There are several theories as to why this is the case but I’m not going into that because I am using this example to highlight the problem with asking a direct question and getting a finite answer. Now the answer could be correct or not but the problem is that you didn’t think of it yourself. It was handed to you on a plate and that makes it instantly forgettable so you could find yourself in the exact same dilemma at some future point and having to ask someone the exact same question again. Being given a solution to a problem only helps you at a future time if you keep repeating the answer to yourself over and over again like a mantra or if you can remember that far back learning your times table by rote. The sing song “once two is two, two twos are four,” made you remember that forever and while there are still some educators who think this unnecessary it remains the only way your brain can instantly give you the answer to seven times six without reaching for a calculator.

The same problem with a provided solution repeated after a short passage of time renders most people’s ability to solve a dilemma or puzzle for themselves inoperative.

Signposting doesn’t give you the answer but merely helps you to find the way to a solution you arrive at by yourself which will be all the more helpful because of that fact. Trying to find answers to questions on the net, for example, gets you lots of solutions or access to guides or even outright, in your face, the Answer below your query. This is great if you can access the net but if you are in the far north of Scotland unless you are fortunate or rich enough to own a satellite phone you will have to find another way to solve dilemmas.

Journey directions

I liken the process of signposting to getting you to turn around and see the signpost that was there all the time because when you get to really know there are signposts for everything you may need to solve in your life you begin to know where to look for them without any help. For some this is a short journey and for others the distance varies but be assured it is a journey and these always have an end. For most people the first problem to solve is to find the beginning.

Journeys end

© Rick Grain 29 May 2016

Headline to choice

Your choice? Why is it up to you?

Development, Passion, Stress Relief, Better Way, Another Way, Life Choice

Worried, stressed, lost your way

As this is the third on the same subject (Your choice) I really should have published this first but the thoughts which prompted each of the previous blogs came from outside sources which give me the premise from which to start each subject. If you would rather know what the series is all about this is the place to begin

So why is it up to you?

The picture at the top of the blog may give you a clue and certainly some people have suggested it could be taken as, or used as a point to make about bipolar disorder. Yes, it could be and as this is freely distributable material it may be that someone else has used it for many different topics, but to have the understanding that you have choices you must have had this internal discussion with yourself. Bipolar disorder, or to give it it’s old name schizophrenia, has been portrayed on screen, big and small, as talking to yourself and even if true while there is a similarity it is the choices we make which would determine if it our decisions are a rational conclusion or something else.

ham or cheese

The key, though, is you make a decision, whether it be “shall I have a cheese sandwich or ham?” or something more serious like “do I dive off the 10 metre board or go down the 3 metre?”. Both of these examples are periods of hesitation as they show a fork in an already taken road and you naturally question am I ready for this? It is not the same as coming to a new idea or possibility and debating whether you are capable of achieving the best result or even completing the course or whatever the outcome will be. The internal questioning relates more to your inner confidence and this is the crux.

arrow-time4change

Most of the world’s greatest achievers have one of two things: They are either born with genius level intelligence which allows them to work through a problem to a final definitive solution or they create something from being bold enough to go for it. This is why a lot of business gurus will tell you that you cannot achieve greatness unless you are prepared to fail and you will probably fail more than once. The list of those people who have created and the lost fortunes are too numerous to mention but nearly all have accepted failure and started again. I personally think that there is more than enough knowledge and case studies and examples of people doing something incorrectly for anyone to succeed without making the same mistake someone else has already made.

Knowledge is what we lack when we question ourselves into frozen inaction and hesitation is what we do before making a decision after researching the errors others have made.

Your choice? Asks you to learn enough to make a wise decision about your future. The why is up to you.

option-option ©Rick Grain 15 May 2016