Headline to choice

Your choice? Why is it up to you?

Development, Passion, Stress Relief, Better Way, Another Way, Life Choice

Worried, stressed, lost your way

As this is the third on the same subject (Your choice) I really should have published this first but the thoughts which prompted each of the previous blogs came from outside sources which give me the premise from which to start each subject. If you would rather know what the series is all about this is the place to begin

So why is it up to you?

The picture at the top of the blog may give you a clue and certainly some people have suggested it could be taken as, or used as a point to make about bipolar disorder. Yes, it could be and as this is freely distributable material it may be that someone else has used it for many different topics, but to have the understanding that you have choices you must have had this internal discussion with yourself. Bipolar disorder, or to give it it’s old name schizophrenia, has been portrayed on screen, big and small, as talking to yourself and even if true while there is a similarity it is the choices we make which would determine if it our decisions are a rational conclusion or something else.

ham or cheese

The key, though, is you make a decision, whether it be “shall I have a cheese sandwich or ham?” or something more serious like “do I dive off the 10 metre board or go down the 3 metre?”. Both of these examples are periods of hesitation as they show a fork in an already taken road and you naturally question am I ready for this? It is not the same as coming to a new idea or possibility and debating whether you are capable of achieving the best result or even completing the course or whatever the outcome will be. The internal questioning relates more to your inner confidence and this is the crux.


Most of the world’s greatest achievers have one of two things: They are either born with genius level intelligence which allows them to work through a problem to a final definitive solution or they create something from being bold enough to go for it. This is why a lot of business gurus will tell you that you cannot achieve greatness unless you are prepared to fail and you will probably fail more than once. The list of those people who have created and the lost fortunes are too numerous to mention but nearly all have accepted failure and started again. I personally think that there is more than enough knowledge and case studies and examples of people doing something incorrectly for anyone to succeed without making the same mistake someone else has already made.

Knowledge is what we lack when we question ourselves into frozen inaction and hesitation is what we do before making a decision after researching the errors others have made.

Your choice? Asks you to learn enough to make a wise decision about your future. The why is up to you.

option-option ©Rick Grain 15 May 2016

Changing attitude

Your choice? Fear or confidence?

Your choice? Fear or confidence?

noun: fear; plural noun: fears

An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

Synonyms:  terror, fright, fearfulness, horror, alarm, panic, agitation, trepidation, dread, consternation, dismay, distress.

What is it that holds you back? Most people will cite fear at the heart of what doesn’t drive them to achieve, but is it really fear? “I’m afraid of the consequences if…”

Does the thought of a possible action fill you with terror? Or is it in reality just trepidation?

Like most of the language we learned at an early age it is this use of the words fear or afraid that colours our judgement. Because the true situation is not that we are terrified of the outcome of what we can do but rather that the unknown consequence is something that we feel a level of consternation about. You will understand that statement better if you think about, for example, learning to drive. The first time you are in charge of a vehicle is not usually terrifying but the trepidation will make you weak at the knees, so it’s a good job you are sitting down, dry in the mouth and all the other things we associate with the word fear, but it isn’t fear or we would not do it.

What makes it different? You usually have an instructor sitting beside you who talks you through the processes and gives you a measure of confidence. The same applies to adrenalin rides in theme parks. You ride them because you see others coming off the ride not looking terrified and you trust in the operators to have the safety features fully checked and working properly.

To progress and change your attitude to this “fear” the realisation or acceptance that we misuse the word is all that is needed to overcome it.

Cancel fear, no fear

Cancel fear

Psychology today has this to say: “Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far from life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet exposing ourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them.”

“Personal demons” is a harsh and inappropriate term to describe where you are at with your development but the statement is valid because the question you should ask yourself is really “What will happen if I don’t take this action?” The answer is nothing and you will get nothing in response and feel no trepidation or have any concern and you will not grow.

The key is in the first sentence: “Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger” Taking a step towards developing yourself is neither a physical nor an emotional danger so take the plunge and move towards confidence. Just do it and deal with the result. It is learning to cope with consequences that makes us grow.

If you need some help with this or just someone to hold your hand while you take that step leave a comment.


Action go for it

Go for it

Your Choice – Passion or Stress?

Development, Passion, Stress Relief, Better Way, Another Way, Life Choice

Worried, stressed, lost your way

Your choice? Passion or stress?

We all feel stress from time to time and if it gets too bad the results can range from constant headaches caused by tense muscles to heart failure or stroke and possibly death. Is there a way that your job or business can be the cause of this and is there a way to alleviate or reduce or even remove the stress altogether?

One possibility is that there is a similar emotive force which has a very different action on the mind and body. That is passion. Whether the cause or effect of passion is your business, your love or maybe even your sport or pastime the resulting feelings don’t usually have the kind of devastating consequences that stress has but why do we feel one and not the other when circumstances may be the same?

Growth Blindfold, Development, Passion, Stress Relief, Better Way, Another Way

Find Another Way

It is not just that you maybe own the business and your manager doesn’t have the need or the same passion you feel because I have had experience of feeling the passion as an employee while the owner was on heart pills and blood pressure medicines due to the stress. You can let the build-up of pressures get to you and then the effects on your health can drag you down while you still have the resulting work load to cope with which adds to the pressure until something has to give.

It is easier to accept that while you can’t do everything, you can learn to manage the stress.

Even the most passionate people can feel stressed especially if there is a glitch or two within what you do so that the results aren’t what you had hoped for and the internalised striving for perfection creates pressure. This is where you can learn to utilise inner resources to help you cope and to do this you have to let go of that perfectionism. To a degree this is a common problem for anyone with a passion in that they won’t accept less than a perfect outcome as part of life.

This is the key which can unlock a better you, can allow you to grow and can help you to see that imperfection isn’t only a fact of life but also presents one of the greatest opportunities to improve. Think Edison for where most people would have given his quest up as unreachable he just saw another way his lightbulb didn’t work.

If you want help with finding your way to accepting the imperfections of life and utilising those things as opportunities rather than frustrations, you may need some help in seeing which way they are pointing as they are surely all signposting you to options and solutions which the simple frustrations can hide from your eyes.

Growth Blindfold, Development, Passion, Stress Relief, Better Way, Another Way

Remove the Blindfold to Growth

The mechanics of this can be explained this way:

Frustrations and problems can easily be allowed to act as a shield or maybe a curtain. Which of these is true for you may correlate to how much passion you have for what do1. Even as a curtain can be pushed aside or is maybe made of voile so is nearly transparent a shield can block the view of a way ahead or blind you to a way out.

Life signposting – an easier way to growth and dealing with the frustrations of life.

© Rick Grain Monday, 02 May 2016


1 Correlations between passion and internally blocking yourself from seeing a way out of problems are another subject I will visit at a later stage