Headline to choice

Your choice? Who am I?

Development, Passion, Stress Relief, Better Way, Another Way, Life Choice

Worried, stressed, lost your way

Your choice? Who am I?

So just who are you? How do you think of yourself? How do you define yourself?

Far too often as fallible human beings we fall into the trap of believing we are less than we can be and this has a negative, draining effect on our lives. Not to put too fine a point on it we distrust our abilities and allow this inner lack of confidence to define us.

If you recognise this position and can see that defining yourself does affect your confidence in yourself, you can change it to improve who you are. To become better, to become who you want to be, to become someone who others look to for help, guidance, wisdom or support.

Changing attitude

It maybe that the way you define yourself has come from your upbringing, your experience of life or possibly you think you were born that way but none of these is relevant if you want to change who you are. To use any of these allows the negatives to define us and only positivity will allow us to change who we are. Finding the path to that person you need to be requires change and to change you have to know where to start. To make a decision that you are going to start is where you start. To change you have to decide to change and the decision to change is your start point.

Change direction

Change direction, follow the signs

This is where anyone who has redefined themselves started from – that decision is where you choose not to believe that how we got to this point is how we have to be. Our path through life will take many turns and some missteps along the way are life happening, it is fluid and ever changing, and should be so but unless you wish to believe fate, destiny or some outside mystical force guides you nothing can stop you changing outcomes to positive, life enhancing experiences rather than debilitating negative happenstances.

Either way

Anything you thought that defined you which is negative can be seen as a signpost which, if you had known it at the time, and seen it as such, could have been a place you might have used to change. You cannot change history but you can recognise its effects and without regret can see how a different decision could have resulted in a different you.

So no regrets, and no self-recriminations only look for the positives which you can use now and make a part of how you define the new you.

© Rick Grain 26 June 2016

All images courtesy of Pixabay


Headline to choice

Risk – Not at all what you think it is

We all take risks even those who think they are ultra-cautious or super safe and those who think they don’t need to think again. Do you drive? Have you walked anywhere or cycled anywhere lately? Even getting out of bed can pose a risk if you do it awkwardly!

Risky biking

I make the point just to show even when you think you are safe there is an element of risk in almost everything we do and a lot of people while thinking they drive safely or walk and cycle with care may then visit a theme park and sample the adrenalin boost of thrill rides. As was sadly proven last year at Alton Towers rides sometimes go wrong and after that disaster the number of Google searches for “rides that went wrong” shot through the roof. But it hasn’t deterred everyone from going to Alton Towers or any of the other theme parks or they would have closed down for lack of customers.

roller-coaster thrills

The thrill is a natural body response to danger triggering the adrenalin to get the body ready for fight or flight and as we survive to the end of the ride we have learned that we didn’t need to do either and our fear response was groundless. We cannot stop this auto-response from happening again but we can overcome our fear of it kicking in so that we take the ride again this is what we learn.

So why then do we not take a risk with our development? Why do people say, “I couldn’t do that” or “I can’t do this”? Fear prevents us from taking the chance to improve but we can overcome this.

dice roll risk

I ask people “What can happen?” and the answer is usually I don’t know but if I say “What can happen if this occurs?” the answer now has a direction from which to approach the question and is easier to imagine. Of course the responses range from a considered and maybe measured answer to a panicked scenario of doom and gloom, yet even then the responder has a position from which they can see a possibility of dealing with the consequences. Only if they cannot see any possible outcome are they unable to formulate the inner resources to face what comes and find a pathway to success.

Anyway risk

Taking a risk is the first step and imagining the possibilities and how to overcome them is the second step on the path and as we all know the first step is the hardest and every step after that it gets easier so the third step, solving the problem, is a piece of cake or at least by then you may have freed the inhibitions and paralysis of fear so thinking is easier and more focussed.


© Rick Grain 12 June 2016

Headline to choice

Your choice? Why is it up to you?

Development, Passion, Stress Relief, Better Way, Another Way, Life Choice

Worried, stressed, lost your way

As this is the third on the same subject (Your choice) I really should have published this first but the thoughts which prompted each of the previous blogs came from outside sources which give me the premise from which to start each subject. If you would rather know what the series is all about this is the place to begin

So why is it up to you?

The picture at the top of the blog may give you a clue and certainly some people have suggested it could be taken as, or used as a point to make about bipolar disorder. Yes, it could be and as this is freely distributable material it may be that someone else has used it for many different topics, but to have the understanding that you have choices you must have had this internal discussion with yourself. Bipolar disorder, or to give it it’s old name schizophrenia, has been portrayed on screen, big and small, as talking to yourself and even if true while there is a similarity it is the choices we make which would determine if it our decisions are a rational conclusion or something else.

ham or cheese

The key, though, is you make a decision, whether it be “shall I have a cheese sandwich or ham?” or something more serious like “do I dive off the 10 metre board or go down the 3 metre?”. Both of these examples are periods of hesitation as they show a fork in an already taken road and you naturally question am I ready for this? It is not the same as coming to a new idea or possibility and debating whether you are capable of achieving the best result or even completing the course or whatever the outcome will be. The internal questioning relates more to your inner confidence and this is the crux.


Most of the world’s greatest achievers have one of two things: They are either born with genius level intelligence which allows them to work through a problem to a final definitive solution or they create something from being bold enough to go for it. This is why a lot of business gurus will tell you that you cannot achieve greatness unless you are prepared to fail and you will probably fail more than once. The list of those people who have created and the lost fortunes are too numerous to mention but nearly all have accepted failure and started again. I personally think that there is more than enough knowledge and case studies and examples of people doing something incorrectly for anyone to succeed without making the same mistake someone else has already made.

Knowledge is what we lack when we question ourselves into frozen inaction and hesitation is what we do before making a decision after researching the errors others have made.

Your choice? Asks you to learn enough to make a wise decision about your future. The why is up to you.

option-option ©Rick Grain 15 May 2016